Weepy FFK, CAN insist Trump is King of Cyrus, will be sworn in same day as Biden

The Christian Association of Nigeria and white-supremacist brown-skin Jesufemi Fani-Kayode (aka J-FFK) are gearing up for the Nigerian version of MAGA coup America witnessed Wednesday.

CAN and FFK have remained especially inconsolable since Congress certified US President-elect Joe Biden’s win in spite of the coup by Republican President Donald Trump and his delusional MAGA.

Many Nigerians and Americans and Britons wonder why CAN and FFK are crying their hearts out over Trump who thinks Nigerians are assholes.

“I am not drug-addled but I just feel like laughing and crying at the same time for what America did to the latter-day messenger of Jesus,” FFK told One America News.

FFK is a fork-tongued, wife-beating, money-guzzling Evangelical freelance pastor whose church is located on Facebook, with branches on INSTAGRAM and Twitter. He’s also the grossest among Nigeria’s Soldiers of the Cross.

Sometime in 2016, when the EFCC caged him for printing posters for N300m, part of the booty ex-NSA Dasuki Sambo funneled to him  in the run-up to the PDP presidential election in 2014, FFK fell into a swoon.

“The Lord told me Trump would be the King mentioned in Isaiah 45 because the man was in contest as the 45th American president,” FFK told his cellmates, including Reuben Abati, an ex-presidential media spin doctor now a seat-of-the pant analyst in Arise Tv.

“And blessed is he that comes in the name of the Lord!”

But, seriously, FFK, a pubic brawler and conspiracy theorist, stole the apeshit from a group of deranged apocalyptic babblers QAnon in America.

CAN, FFK, and many Nigerians who like to sing Halleluiah and jump for joy when  Trump calls them shithole Christians are now on their knees praying Gawd who sent his servant Trump to prove the prophecy.

“Angels are declaring Trump winner of the election you gay-loving Dems stole, and will inaugurate him at Liberty Church Jan 20,” CAN stated uncannily.

While the Proud Boys, Evangelical useful idiots, and crackpots that sacked Congress on Wednesday used weapons and force, CAN, FFK, and others will use fire, blood, and the Bible to annihilate Democrats who stole Trump’s MAGA votes.

“We will continue to fast and pray from now till the commencement of Lent,” said CAN’s spokesman, another cranky super-spreader of conspiracy theories in Nigeria.

1 thought on “Weepy FFK, CAN insist Trump is King of Cyrus, will be sworn in same day as Biden

Leave a Comment