UI offers post-graduate course in classical photocopying

Nigeria’s premier university, the University of Ibadan, has just rolled out a post-graduate programme in classical photocopying in its faculty of arts.

Starting the academic programme, the first of its type in Nigeria, becomes urgent as Nigeria’s education authorities observe how difficult it is to reproduce the varsity’s certificates correctly.

It took the entire classic studies department and UI’s registry six years to be able to artfully reproduce a portrait of Edo Gov Godwin Obaseki’s dog-eared certificate he got himself in 1979.

“We have to make a lot of dummy runs with all sorts of paper, cuneiform, papyrus, tympanum, and what have you, to get it right enough to present in court–as evidence against what  the enemy of progress called forgery,” said UI’s Deputy Registrar Ajayi who claimed to be the varsity’s legal adviser and Obaseki’s witness in court Jan 5.

Ajayi is not lying through his teeth.

The PDP governor, when he was the APC candidate, presented his ‘Oluwole’ certificate in 2016, hid the original as he did from INEC last year.

The reason, the court learnt, was that  no rocket scientist alive in 2016 could make any Xerox photocopier in the entire universe reproduce the registrar’s name and signature on the original certificate.

And a knucklehead who doubles as Obaseki’s legal adversary told the court he again ran the stupid errand last year, and produced that same Oluwole copy.

“It was all my bad, Our Lord,” he said.

It shocks many that Nigerian lawyers are daft when it comes to making photocopies.

So the institution, in its ads, specifically calls for application from prospective candidates who must be lawyers.

Other requirements include A4 and an I.Q. not higher than 0.0001.

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