Tinubu 2023: Fear grips Bode Thomas; may lose citizenship in 2023

PDP’s ageing chieftain Bode George is worried sick the way Nigerians are looking at former Lagos Gov Bola Tinubu angling for the 2023 presidency. The former boys scout has expressed fear of losing his Nigerian citizenship if the APC national leader eventually contests the 2023 presidency. And if he wins, the Boy Beorge might be … Read moreTinubu 2023: Fear grips Bode Thomas; may lose citizenship in 2023

Amidst insecurity senators motion NASS be moved to Dubai for uninterrupted lawmaking

As the spate of insecurity assumes a new dimension in Nigeria, members of the National Assembly with good understanding of real estate and safety have recommended the complex be moved from Abuja to a safer place. “A country whose government cannot guarantee security should shut down its National Assembly complex, and move to a safer … Read moreAmidst insecurity senators motion NASS be moved to Dubai for uninterrupted lawmaking

Rep blames Nigerians for watching live on TV when Senate asked Pantami to take a bow in 2019

Rep Yusuf Gbagdi has berated Nigerians and other APC critics for digging up forgotten issues of Isa Pantami’s romance with Al-Qaeda as though the minister knew what he was doing when he did it 100 trillion years ago. The federal lawmaker from Plateau said he was on the military committee that vetted the minister, and … Read moreRep blames Nigerians for watching live on TV when Senate asked Pantami to take a bow in 2019

IPOB Asylum: Home office suspends visa decision—until UK juju detector becomes operational

The United Kingdom may have backpedalled its earlier decision to open its Nigeria’s visa office to the Nnamdi Kanu-led IPOB and other separatist groups that need a bolt-hole after destroying planet’s biggest black nation. “Our Home Office has decided to review the initial notice of open-door policy to Amadioha-backed secessionists smart enough to explore our … Read moreIPOB Asylum: Home office suspends visa decision—until UK juju detector becomes operational

Finance minister sad as Obaseki got freshly minted N60bn and refuses to shut up

Following Edo Gov. Godwin Obaseki’s prattle about the freshly minted N60bn he was certain the federal government gave him, Finance Minister Zainab Ahmed has expressed her utter disappointment. “For me, it’s sad Obaseki could pipe out all that bull. How could he shit where he eats?” Ahmed said after a FEC meeting Wednesday. Obaseki on … Read moreFinance minister sad as Obaseki got freshly minted N60bn and refuses to shut up

Devout malam says heaven-conscious governor’s sons will see God if they get kidnapped for no ransom

  A devout Muslim has espoused a religious teaching about how sons of politicians, especially governors, can make heaven: get snatched by bandits. The Malam, an APC governor in northwestern Nigeria, said this Friday to let his devout citizens know making heaven in state houses is too difficult owing to tight security. “Mark my words: … Read moreDevout malam says heaven-conscious governor’s sons will see God if they get kidnapped for no ransom

TINUBU: Since office of First Lady moved to UAE, Nigerians can’t reasonably assault Aisha again

In a glowing tribute to Aisha Buhari for her achievements as Nigeria’s first lady, Bola Tinubu has pointed out how attacks on her office has eternally ended. Nigerians have always said there is no constitutional reason for creating and funding the office of the wife of Nigeria’s president. The barbs mostly aggravate to attack so … Read moreTINUBU: Since office of First Lady moved to UAE, Nigerians can’t reasonably assault Aisha again

CCT blames global warming for bad spelling in Danladi-guard assault press statement, apologizes to Spelling Bees Nigeria

For his professional spelling mistakes in the press statement he issued last week on behalf of Umar Danladi,  the honorary justice of the Code of Conduct Tribunal, a Ministry of Info writer has an explanation. Ibraheem Al-Hassan indicated climate change was responsible for the howlers in the statement. Danladi, an appointee of President Muhammadu Buhari, … Read moreCCT blames global warming for bad spelling in Danladi-guard assault press statement, apologizes to Spelling Bees Nigeria

FFK apologizes after testing positive for AstraZeneca shot

PDP armchair stalwart Femi Fani Kayode has apologized to the billions of people he is mentoring for testing positive amid this covid-19 vaccination all over the world. Fani-Kayode, a freelance evangelist who was informed by the Holy Spirit covid-19 is a new-world order creation, and its Bill-Gates sponsored vaccine is evil, suddenly tested positive for … Read moreFFK apologizes after testing positive for AstraZeneca shot

Experts explain why roaring Kogi White Lion, that of Bourdillion suddenly make U-turn, kiss, hunt together

The prized fight between the Kogi White Lion and its counterpart the Lion of Bourdillion may not hold again in 2023 it was initially slated for. This turn of event will actually gut many already looking forward to the bloody tangle between the leonine rivals trying to claim territories. “I believe the large-boned Lion of … Read moreExperts explain why roaring Kogi White Lion, that of Bourdillion suddenly make U-turn, kiss, hunt together

Bold Oodua Twitter Republic launches ultra-modern military with sophisticated barearms inside village

To leave nobody in doubt of what they are up to, the federal government of Oodua Republic on Twitter unveiled its modern army March 30. The gallant army, ten-man strong, was unveiled in a village somewhere in the southwest with the most unheard of military might on parade. “Forget we are just 10. Oodua and … Read moreBold Oodua Twitter Republic launches ultra-modern military with sophisticated barearms inside village

2023: Fayemi accepts offer to take over from Buhari, wonders why it’s hard for Nigerians to figure out

Ekiti Gov. Kayode Fayemi has finally opened up on his ambition to run for the presidency in 2023. The governor made this known—in a manner most politicians do—during an interview with Channels TV. According to him, he’s a damn serious politician. “Only a knucklehead and ne’er-do-well politician will reject an offer of a Limo ride … Read more2023: Fayemi accepts offer to take over from Buhari, wonders why it’s hard for Nigerians to figure out

Kalu accuses Supreme Court of upturning his jail sentence to truncate his destiny

Nigeria’s Senate  Chief Whip Uzor Kalu has been stewing since his release from the Kuje Prison following a Supreme Court ruling. The apex court set aside the appeal court judgement that first convicted the Abia former governor of embezzling billions, and then sent him up for 10 years at Kuje –a term he was all … Read moreKalu accuses Supreme Court of upturning his jail sentence to truncate his destiny

APC sets up high-power committee that’ll usher in change Nigerians want now in 2025

To assure Nigerians it’s a promise keeper, the APC has set up a committee of top-shots that will bring the change it promised in 2014 to reality in 2025. The high-power committee, according to the party mock Chairman and Yobe Gov.  Mai Buni, comprises little-known bureaucrats and bombed-out politicians like ex-Gov. Akinwumi Ambode, ex-Speaker Dimeji … Read moreAPC sets up high-power committee that’ll usher in change Nigerians want now in 2025

Awolowo writes new book foreworded by PDP reviewer Chidoka, published in Oodua Republic

The late Yoruba sage Obafemi Awolowo has written a new book about his life since 1987, and he bares all in the volume comprising no fewer than 790 pages. According to the book’s review, Awolowo effortlessly reveals a part of him unknown to many of his followers in Afenifere, dead and alive, including Adekunle Ajasin … Read moreAwolowo writes new book foreworded by PDP reviewer Chidoka, published in Oodua Republic

FFK overwhelmed as ex-cook, nanny testify to electric anointing in PDP evangelist’s right hand of fellowship

“You can’t help it especially if he reaches out from behind you, and his magnetic unction hits you in the hip as you lay his bed….”   Femi Fani-Kayode had been demonstrating God’s grace and many didn’t know it until his former domestic sfaffers came out to share how the PDP evangelist touched their souls … Read moreFFK overwhelmed as ex-cook, nanny testify to electric anointing in PDP evangelist’s right hand of fellowship

War veterans IBB, Abdulsalam re-enlist in Nigeria military at Fayose’s insistence

After what he tweeted as fruitful discussions, former Gov Ayo Fayose has got assurance retired Generals  and ex-heads of state Ibarahim B. Babangida and Abubakar Abdusalam are rejoining the Nigerian military. Fayose wanted to pray on the mountain as usual, but kidnaping and other dangers lurking around Ondo and Ekiti forests wouldn’t allow him. So … Read moreWar veterans IBB, Abdulsalam re-enlist in Nigeria military at Fayose’s insistence

Family kicks as FG intercepts Ibori’s N2bn retirement benefit accrual from his 10-yr service to Queen

Delta government, its federal lawmakers, and kinsmen of ex-Gov. James Ibori have cried out over attempt by some grabby elements to appropriated N2.2bn the UK owes the former governor. The UK government stated recently it’s repatriating the amount, pound sterling to Nigeria—the country of origin of the recipient who finished his meritorious service to the … Read moreFamily kicks as FG intercepts Ibori’s N2bn retirement benefit accrual from his 10-yr service to Queen

INSECURITY: Senior police officer vows to retire into Louis Odion House, in his uniform for 1,440 days until he gets diplomatic job

As daily abductions and killing spread across the four geo-political zones of Nigeria, a very senior police officer has deemed it security-wise to reaffirm his loyalty to President Muhammadu Buhari. The very senior officer has been taking flak for the nation’s insecurity, and many have called on Buhari to remove him since the supercop remains … Read moreINSECURITY: Senior police officer vows to retire into Louis Odion House, in his uniform for 1,440 days until he gets diplomatic job

Northern govs celebrate VP at 64, urge him to concentrate on Tradermoni beneficiaries, baby lawyers looking for intellectual giant

The Northern Governors Forum have  added an edge to their message as they joined President Muhammadu Buhari, APC leader Bola Tinubu, and two other people to celebrate V.P Yemi Osinbajo on his birthday. Simon Lalong, chairman of the forum, described Osinbajo as a loyal sidekick who not only understands his place —behind the scene—in Buhari’s … Read moreNorthern govs celebrate VP at 64, urge him to concentrate on Tradermoni beneficiaries, baby lawyers looking for intellectual giant

Since ex-wife Chikwendu knows the way to his heart, FFK says his life in danger of love potion

As Chikwendu Fani-Kayode told a court in Abuja on Friday all the agonies of love she enjoyed while she warmed the pillow for Nigeria’s foremost freelance evangelist and politician, the respondent, the he-man himself, has corroborated her story. In a statement on Saturday, Femi Fani-Kayode described their good old days of coupling as memorable: horsing … Read moreSince ex-wife Chikwendu knows the way to his heart, FFK says his life in danger of love potion

NDLEA invites Gov. Ikpeazu for blood sugar-level test, suspects enhanced performance in Abia

Abia Gov. Okezie Ikepazu and APC Kogi West Sen. S. Adeyemi have been at war over who has been performing like a drunk between the two politicians. The question will soon be settled as NDLEA wades uninvited into the dispute which originated on the Senate floor early in the week. What further heightened the NDLEA … Read moreNDLEA invites Gov. Ikpeazu for blood sugar-level test, suspects enhanced performance in Abia

2023: Saraki leads PDP committee to consult evil spirit on far-away hill 50,000 feet high; APC says it’s height of desperation

As parties prepare for the 2023 general elections, the main opposition PDP is doubling down on spiritual efforts to ensure it comes back to power after eight years on the fringe. So its chairman of reconciliation committee and former Senate President Bukola Saraki took some members to a necromancer living up a mountain in Minna, … Read more2023: Saraki leads PDP committee to consult evil spirit on far-away hill 50,000 feet high; APC says it’s height of desperation

Hungry lion makes angry noise that sounds like roaring—Study

Behavioral scientists from the American University of Nigeria have published a 10-year study which reveals the psychology of the lion, an animal many believe is the strongest in the wild. The leader of the team of five in a paper published on conclusion of the study revealed that lions are not always strong. “They are … Read moreHungry lion makes angry noise that sounds like roaring—Study

Governor assures law-abiding bandits of constitutional protection, benefits as long as they pay tax, obey traffic laws, others

Zamfara’s Gov. Bello Matawalle has warned Nigerians to react with caution when they hear bandits rocking the news. According to him, law-abiding bandits, mostly operating in the forest of Zamfara, don’t deserve such negative publicity and reaction. “Nigerians should understand not all bandits are criminals, and I have assured the law-abiding ones among the bandits … Read moreGovernor assures law-abiding bandits of constitutional protection, benefits as long as they pay tax, obey traffic laws, others

DEFECTION: APC rejects Fani-Kayode application, says male defector must be in stable relationship

After cursing President Muhammadu Buhari, the Fulani tribe, Muslims, and V.P Yemi Osinbajo for six years, PDP’s bottom-of-the-pants stalwart and evangelist Femi Fani-Kayode decided to cross over in a manner that made him look stupid by half. And he failed. And failed. And failed. According to Salihu Lukman, Fani-Kayode went round to play PDP’s dirty … Read moreDEFECTION: APC rejects Fani-Kayode application, says male defector must be in stable relationship

BREAKING: DSS nabs Marclar, Cathar, 90 other aliens brought in unmarked aircraft to protest in Lagos

Few hours to its kick-off, the Occupy Lekki Toll Gate protest might be up to a rocky start, and its objectives will be hanging in the balance. Info Minister Lai Mohammed hinted Thursday the federal government won’t watch the ENDSARS activists disrupt Lagos again, having informed all security agencies, including Amotekun, to be on the … Read moreBREAKING: DSS nabs Marclar, Cathar, 90 other aliens brought in unmarked aircraft to protest in Lagos

Buhari orders maximum perimeter security for protesters as they #Occupy Lekki Toll Gate on Twitter

The federal government is set to shock the world as ENDSARS activists mobilize for another protest following the re-opening of the Lekki Toll Gate, Lagos. The toll facility was described by the Amnesty International as the killing field where no fewer than 78, or and 32, or and 20, or and seven, or and two … Read moreBuhari orders maximum perimeter security for protesters as they #Occupy Lekki Toll Gate on Twitter

Fani-Kayode joins Osinbajo in APC to propagate gospel

Evangelist Jesufemi Fani-Kayode has grasped the nettle, and headed to the APC to join in furthering the great commission of the Prince of Peace amidst spiraling insecurity in the country. The PDP loafer was received by Govs Yahaya Bello and Mai Buni on Tuesday. Some of his detractors wonder why the ruling APC will welcome … Read moreFani-Kayode joins Osinbajo in APC to propagate gospel

Nigeria’s corruption perception improves -20 places after CBN banned kleptocurrency dealers in PDP

While, to many, it sounds silly the CBN bans the occult transactions in digital currencies  by the PDP and the lone wolves terrorizing Nigeria, the decision has become a boost for the APC and the presidency. Following the quick-fire order to all financial institutions—to reject any transaction in Bitcoins, and other digital currencies, and tell … Read moreNigeria’s corruption perception improves -20 places after CBN banned kleptocurrency dealers in PDP