The kangaroo presidential panel set up to probe EFCC’s suspended chairman Ibrahim Magu is ageing as fast as the panel’s chairman, 77-yer-old retired Justice Ayo Salami who seems to have problem remembering what he says moments after he says it.
And it takes little effort again to see the other members of the old people panel of investigation are also getting so dotty they can’t remind their oldish boss he actually began to whine like an old dog in the course of investigating Magu. The most recent incident was when AGF Abubakar Malami refused to honor Salami’s invitation—the invitation the panel sent in the name of the lord of Aso Rock and President of the FGN Muhammadu Buhari.
But the young lawyers on Magu’s defence team caught the shit Salami was yapping against Buhari.
‘I regret chairing this panel, honestly. Since 2013 I retired and went back to my place. What is all this? It is embarrassing, very embarrassing.’
Salami read his complaint in the news, and wondered who the hell those stupids that reported that thing were. So, for the first time, with more nail-biting regret, he was forced to totter out of the Aso Rock bunker where the secret trial was going on to rasp out some incoherent denials of what he said right before some CCTV cameras.
“I have no cause to express any regret over my chairmanship of the commission.
“I have never appointed any of the two lawyers or any other person(s) to speak on my behalf as I can express myself without recourse to the lawyers of the persons we are probing. As an eminent jurist, who retired as the President of the Court of Appeal.”
He also muttered some things about his love for his first boss Buhari, and the joy he got doing the hatchet job most Nigerians think he was doing for his second boss Malami.
Magu’s lawyers Tosin Ojaomo and Abiola Zenab have headed to court on that—to swear the jittery old man actually popped open his really old mouth and sputtered out the bitter whining.
To help the old cargo remember, we will try to rap his thickening skull bone by reminding him that some naughty newsman might have switched the initials in Malami and Salami; that Malami could actually be the whiner because the AGF had reason to be disgruntled looking at why the old man they chose to nail Magu was all jitters like every old man taking up so much for his bent back and stiff joints.
And since Salami and his panel believed most of the bunk the witnesses, who Malami brought, said against Magu—it’s cool for anyone then to believe that a sonafabitch among the reporters, who hates old men like Salami, did the mischief.
Which was why Salami hit the headlines as one grumpy old mule talking about the childish assignment old Buhari gave him to do.
In any case, it was a good thing that Justice Minister Malami somehow offered a groggy, yawning retired Justice Salami as a burnt offering in the shameful show of nailing Magu down to the crime of re-looting EFCC spoil to buy houses in Dubai.