Civilian coup planners plotting to hand Nigeria over to Buhari

To fill the vacuum created by what many have described as the APC absentee presidency, some civilian military coup planners are on the verge of seizing power, and handing it over to President Muhammadu Buhari.

The decision is coming after weeks or months or years or decades of wondering why the elected government is not available in Aso Rock where weeds and rats and herders have taken over the premises.

“The caterwauling, in recent times, by these creepy creature is to prepare the grounds adequately for Operation Tillage,” said a presidential spokesperson.

Those who aren’t members of the ruling APC and those who do not like the seat of power to remain desolate are therefore working round the clock to hand over again the reins of power to the finest gentleman and most incorruptible Nigerian that ever lives.

The main opposition PDP is, however, opposed to the plan.

“That was how some misguided military boys overthrew an elected government in 1983 and handed it over to this very Buhari,” said the PDP special publicity secretary. “Buhari shouldn’t be the only one Nigerians are forcing to lead.”

The civilians involved in the putsch this time around are past presidents, bishops, imams, herbalists, and boy scouts, according to the presidency.

 

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