Oyo Gov Seyi Makinde is about 52 years old. But that doesn’t matter. He’s a big baby, by many standards: as a baby governor; an upstart in politics; and a Johnny-on-the spot in his party PDP. So when you see the one-year-old governor running around Nigeria on PDP’s national assignment while other governors and chairman Uche Secondus are keeping their asses in their seats, you understand Makinde is a happy kiddo horsing around the country.
And, you see, kids try some adult things, too, though they don’t mind flunking them. Like trying to run before they walk. Or trying to rub shoulders with the bros. Or feeling like they’re hotshots, like Makinde is feeling among bad, old, woman-haters and blowhards like seniors ex-Gov. Ayo Fayose and wicked, hotel-demolishing Gov. Nyesom Wike.
Just wait and see. Makinde is about to hose up himself, soil his pants, and get spanked real hard for being a naughty kid. Fayose has already warned that a baby governor like Makinde can’t edge him out as PDPs southwest leader.( Don’t you wonder where they put old Boy George, Baba Ijebu Adebutu, and other fossilizing papas that are still hugging headlines in the southwest?)
But Makinde isn’t just mucking with Fayose and co. . He’s also irritating many of his Yoruba tribesmen hoping to have the 2023 presidential ticket compass turn west of the south. And worse, he’s pissing off the Oyo voters by playfully throwing the state’s FAAC and paltry IGR around at PDP’s powows and jamborees where the party makes him campaign chairman, peacemaker, and any kinda dogsbody in Niger, Cross Rivers, Ekiti, and anywhere else they don’t need him being a good partyman with the state’s monies he’s splashing up and down.
With his baby brain and boyish ambition, he’s aiming even higher by stooping and being a good errand boy at the party level:
“Governor Makinde has completely abandoned governance in Oyo State for his quest to extend his political control to the entire south-west, south-south and some states in the North-Central,” said the Adekunle Lawal of the APC Professionals in Oyo said last weekend.
Gawd! The PDP goon is actually eyeing a ticket with, say, his party’s veteran presidential wannabe, Atiku Abubakar. That seems the only reason a one-year-old could scrape up for trying to burst his kidney slaving for his party.
Supposing that reason isn’t especially stupid, we may figure that: The PDP, broke and dead, may put forward Atiku again in 2023, since he’s got chairman Secondus inside his babaringa, and the PDP presidential ticket for keeps—or for as long as he’s alive and his maritime cashcow Intel is still shitting out millions of naira for him to remain the highest party bidder. Meaning: the north has it.
So any idiot from the southwest, especially if he’s the only idiot among the governors in the southwest, could have counted himself lucky for being the only idiot qualified to wear the foolscap, and run with a bigger clown Atiku.
Now let’s see how much it has cost Makinde to play the good boy for his party:
“The APC group in the state alleged that going by information within its reach, over N7bn had already been squandered by the governor on activities within the PDP in the last six months.”
Wow! That’s a miserable amount.
Makinde, oh… well Makon, is richer than N7bn. At least eight times richer. He was N48-billion wealthy when he became governor in 2019, and probably richer than his boss Atiku. And Makinde’s investments in oil and gas, construction, and estate in South Africa, Nigeria, and the US are multiplying exponentially thanks to the covid-19 pandemic.
Take it or leave it, Makinde is only helping Oyo if he spends its billions like Hushpuppi.
By the time the vice presidential race hots up, Oyo may be left with nothing in the cupboard. Because the PDP doesn’t mind a cheerful giver. Yeah, the Sambo Dasuki sort of cheerful giving.