Presidency lambasts Nigerian journalists for media blackout during first daughter’s break-up with wanted ex

Nigerian media has failed in its responsibility as a watchdog for under-reporting issues as serious first daughter’s disastrous marriage, the presidency has said. Following media reports about President Muhammadu Buhari’s ex-son-in-law Gima Yau Kumo, a bloody thief who looted $65m from the Federal Mortgage Bank in 2014, the presidency has made some clarification. “It’s a … Read morePresidency lambasts Nigerian journalists for media blackout during first daughter’s break-up with wanted ex

Aso Rock blames robber’s foolishness for unsuccessful raid of presidential staff quarters

The federal government has expressed worries about the foolishness of Nigerian robbers which makes them unsuccessful in their chosen vocation. Some robbers broke into Nigeria’s seat of power Sunday night, jimmying the bungalow of President Muhammadu Buhari’s CoS Ibrahim Gambari. “Only a foolish robber would make such dumbass moves that resulted in an unsuccessful break-in … Read moreAso Rock blames robber’s foolishness for unsuccessful raid of presidential staff quarters

Tinubu 2023: Fear grips Bode Thomas; may lose citizenship in 2023

PDP’s ageing chieftain Bode George is worried sick the way Nigerians are looking at former Lagos Gov Bola Tinubu angling for the 2023 presidency. The former boys scout has expressed fear of losing his Nigerian citizenship if the APC national leader eventually contests the 2023 presidency. And if he wins, the Boy Beorge might be … Read moreTinubu 2023: Fear grips Bode Thomas; may lose citizenship in 2023

Civilian coup planners plotting to hand Nigeria over to Buhari

To fill the vacuum created by what many have described as the APC absentee presidency, some civilian military coup planners are on the verge of seizing power, and handing it over to President Muhammadu Buhari. The decision is coming after weeks or months or years or decades of wondering why the elected government is not … Read moreCivilian coup planners plotting to hand Nigeria over to Buhari

Amidst insecurity senators motion NASS be moved to Dubai for uninterrupted lawmaking

As the spate of insecurity assumes a new dimension in Nigeria, members of the National Assembly with good understanding of real estate and safety have recommended the complex be moved from Abuja to a safer place. “A country whose government cannot guarantee security should shut down its National Assembly complex, and move to a safer … Read moreAmidst insecurity senators motion NASS be moved to Dubai for uninterrupted lawmaking

Rep blames Nigerians for watching live on TV when Senate asked Pantami to take a bow in 2019

Rep Yusuf Gbagdi has berated Nigerians and other APC critics for digging up forgotten issues of Isa Pantami’s romance with Al-Qaeda as though the minister knew what he was doing when he did it 100 trillion years ago. The federal lawmaker from Plateau said he was on the military committee that vetted the minister, and … Read moreRep blames Nigerians for watching live on TV when Senate asked Pantami to take a bow in 2019

IPOB Asylum: Home office suspends visa decision—until UK juju detector becomes operational

The United Kingdom may have backpedalled its earlier decision to open its Nigeria’s visa office to the Nnamdi Kanu-led IPOB and other separatist groups that need a bolt-hole after destroying planet’s biggest black nation. “Our Home Office has decided to review the initial notice of open-door policy to Amadioha-backed secessionists smart enough to explore our … Read moreIPOB Asylum: Home office suspends visa decision—until UK juju detector becomes operational

100 APC aspirants write JAMB to contest primary

It’s not for fun the APC is the ruling party in Nigeria—and in Kaduna. That’s why the state chapter is leading others with a new technique of qualifying its LGA election aspirants—writing an exam the Joint Aspirants Metrics Board conducts. No fewer than 100 meatheads jostling for the party’s primary tickets sat for the exam … Read more100 APC aspirants write JAMB to contest primary

Omokri lobbies Alpha Reach Media boss Omojuwa as fight with former director gets grimmer

For a favor or two, Nigeria’s jet-set anti-Buhari protester and social media influenza superspreader Reno Omokri has butted into the fight between Alpha Reach Media’s boss and his ex-director. Out of Christian love, J.J Omojuwa had appointed Obi Ezekwesili, an internationally transparent Nigerian, as director of his construction firm that bagged a PR CON merit … Read moreOmokri lobbies Alpha Reach Media boss Omojuwa as fight with former director gets grimmer

2023: Wike signs MOU with popular Twitter influencer to sell Rivers as battleground state to APC, INEC, others

Rivers Gov. Nyesom Wike is leaving no stone unturned in his effort to position the south-south state for the 2023 presidential election. Impeccable sources revealed the PDP governor has signed an MOU with a popular Twitter juggernaut that boasts of intercontinental track records in swaying opinions. “I want Nigerians to know anybody who becomes president … Read more2023: Wike signs MOU with popular Twitter influencer to sell Rivers as battleground state to APC, INEC, others

Finance minister sad as Obaseki got freshly minted N60bn and refuses to shut up

Following Edo Gov. Godwin Obaseki’s prattle about the freshly minted N60bn he was certain the federal government gave him, Finance Minister Zainab Ahmed has expressed her utter disappointment. “For me, it’s sad Obaseki could pipe out all that bull. How could he shit where he eats?” Ahmed said after a FEC meeting Wednesday. Obaseki on … Read moreFinance minister sad as Obaseki got freshly minted N60bn and refuses to shut up

PDP CONGRESS: Fayose exposes fraud, wonders why they declared Makinde’s candidate with more votes winner

Ekiti’s former Gov Ayo Fayose has backtracked after publicly declaring Gov. S. Makinde the PDP leader in the southwest following the Oyo governor’s candidate’s victory at the recent zonal vice chairmanship election held in Osogbo. Fayose insists there was no way Taofeek Arapaja who had more supporters and votes could have defeated his own candidate … Read morePDP CONGRESS: Fayose exposes fraud, wonders why they declared Makinde’s candidate with more votes winner

Devout malam says heaven-conscious governor’s sons will see God if they get kidnapped for no ransom

  A devout Muslim has espoused a religious teaching about how sons of politicians, especially governors, can make heaven: get snatched by bandits. The Malam, an APC governor in northwestern Nigeria, said this Friday to let his devout citizens know making heaven in state houses is too difficult owing to tight security. “Mark my words: … Read moreDevout malam says heaven-conscious governor’s sons will see God if they get kidnapped for no ransom

TINUBU: Since office of First Lady moved to UAE, Nigerians can’t reasonably assault Aisha again

In a glowing tribute to Aisha Buhari for her achievements as Nigeria’s first lady, Bola Tinubu has pointed out how attacks on her office has eternally ended. Nigerians have always said there is no constitutional reason for creating and funding the office of the wife of Nigeria’s president. The barbs mostly aggravate to attack so … Read moreTINUBU: Since office of First Lady moved to UAE, Nigerians can’t reasonably assault Aisha again

CCT blames global warming for bad spelling in Danladi-guard assault press statement, apologizes to Spelling Bees Nigeria

For his professional spelling mistakes in the press statement he issued last week on behalf of Umar Danladi,  the honorary justice of the Code of Conduct Tribunal, a Ministry of Info writer has an explanation. Ibraheem Al-Hassan indicated climate change was responsible for the howlers in the statement. Danladi, an appointee of President Muhammadu Buhari, … Read moreCCT blames global warming for bad spelling in Danladi-guard assault press statement, apologizes to Spelling Bees Nigeria

FFK apologizes after testing positive for AstraZeneca shot

PDP armchair stalwart Femi Fani Kayode has apologized to the billions of people he is mentoring for testing positive amid this covid-19 vaccination all over the world. Fani-Kayode, a freelance evangelist who was informed by the Holy Spirit covid-19 is a new-world order creation, and its Bill-Gates sponsored vaccine is evil, suddenly tested positive for … Read moreFFK apologizes after testing positive for AstraZeneca shot

Experts explain why roaring Kogi White Lion, that of Bourdillion suddenly make U-turn, kiss, hunt together

The prized fight between the Kogi White Lion and its counterpart the Lion of Bourdillion may not hold again in 2023 it was initially slated for. This turn of event will actually gut many already looking forward to the bloody tangle between the leonine rivals trying to claim territories. “I believe the large-boned Lion of … Read moreExperts explain why roaring Kogi White Lion, that of Bourdillion suddenly make U-turn, kiss, hunt together

Bold Oodua Twitter Republic launches ultra-modern military with sophisticated barearms inside village

To leave nobody in doubt of what they are up to, the federal government of Oodua Republic on Twitter unveiled its modern army March 30. The gallant army, ten-man strong, was unveiled in a village somewhere in the southwest with the most unheard of military might on parade. “Forget we are just 10. Oodua and … Read moreBold Oodua Twitter Republic launches ultra-modern military with sophisticated barearms inside village

Climate Resilience: Zulum converts security truck to firewood carrier to alleviate rural women energy plight for one hour

Which is more glorious: An Instagram-worthy loading of dry twigs onto two security trucks, by a first-term governor who couldn’t stand watching poverty-ridden Borno girls foraging for firewood by the arid, treeless highway—or a drab policy that makes kerosene and gas sell for N20 per litre to meet the energy need of poor rural women … Read moreClimate Resilience: Zulum converts security truck to firewood carrier to alleviate rural women energy plight for one hour

2023: Fayemi accepts offer to take over from Buhari, wonders why it’s hard for Nigerians to figure out

Ekiti Gov. Kayode Fayemi has finally opened up on his ambition to run for the presidency in 2023. The governor made this known—in a manner most politicians do—during an interview with Channels TV. According to him, he’s a damn serious politician. “Only a knucklehead and ne’er-do-well politician will reject an offer of a Limo ride … Read more2023: Fayemi accepts offer to take over from Buhari, wonders why it’s hard for Nigerians to figure out

Kalu accuses Supreme Court of upturning his jail sentence to truncate his destiny

Nigeria’s Senate  Chief Whip Uzor Kalu has been stewing since his release from the Kuje Prison following a Supreme Court ruling. The apex court set aside the appeal court judgement that first convicted the Abia former governor of embezzling billions, and then sent him up for 10 years at Kuje –a term he was all … Read moreKalu accuses Supreme Court of upturning his jail sentence to truncate his destiny

APC sets up high-power committee that’ll usher in change Nigerians want now in 2025

To assure Nigerians it’s a promise keeper, the APC has set up a committee of top-shots that will bring the change it promised in 2014 to reality in 2025. The high-power committee, according to the party mock Chairman and Yobe Gov.  Mai Buni, comprises little-known bureaucrats and bombed-out politicians like ex-Gov. Akinwumi Ambode, ex-Speaker Dimeji … Read moreAPC sets up high-power committee that’ll usher in change Nigerians want now in 2025

Awolowo writes new book foreworded by PDP reviewer Chidoka, published in Oodua Republic

The late Yoruba sage Obafemi Awolowo has written a new book about his life since 1987, and he bares all in the volume comprising no fewer than 790 pages. According to the book’s review, Awolowo effortlessly reveals a part of him unknown to many of his followers in Afenifere, dead and alive, including Adekunle Ajasin … Read moreAwolowo writes new book foreworded by PDP reviewer Chidoka, published in Oodua Republic

SAD: Tanzania’s late President Magufuli tests negative for steaming and prayer

Tanzania’s President John Magafuli died much earlier in March but sources just revealed the announcement was delayed because the presidency had to pray and steam before they could announce it. The late president would have loved it that way, too, if he had been alive, said a government source. Covid-19 has been raging in the … Read moreSAD: Tanzania’s late President Magufuli tests negative for steaming and prayer

Ohaneze v Okupe: Sick sinus interacting with Covid-19 antigens tips off mental instability in some politicians—Africana Journal of Medicine

“Our study confirmed that for most patients, the relationship is neutral.”     The Ohaneze Youth Council might have inadvertently publicized a research study when the Igbo group described a PDP operative as mentally unstable and in need of medical attention. Doyin Okupe, a former presidential media adviser, had tweeted about a remote incident of … Read moreOhaneze v Okupe: Sick sinus interacting with Covid-19 antigens tips off mental instability in some politicians—Africana Journal of Medicine

Ganduje: I’ll soon expose, shame the real cowards offering me fake dollars in the 2018 video

Kano Gov Umar Ganduje has reminded Nigerians the curtain is not yet drawn on his dollar-bribe drama that hit the internet in 2018. The governor said he was made to feature in it by his enemies. “But I assure you all the cowards—contractors, bureau de change, others— offering me fake bribes behind the scene in … Read moreGanduje: I’ll soon expose, shame the real cowards offering me fake dollars in the 2018 video

Wike threatens to resign in April 2023 if Nigerians elect Jonathan as president again

“It’s anti-party if GEJ or whatchamacallit  gets the ticket for the 2023 presidency”    Rivers Gov Nyesom Wike has warned all Nigerians to get ready for his wrath: I will quit the Rivers governor house in 2023 if Goodluck Jonathan contests and wins the presidential election. “I am an Ijaw politician, the most PDP of … Read moreWike threatens to resign in April 2023 if Nigerians elect Jonathan as president again

FFK overwhelmed as ex-cook, nanny testify to electric anointing in PDP evangelist’s right hand of fellowship

“You can’t help it especially if he reaches out from behind you, and his magnetic unction hits you in the hip as you lay his bed….”   Femi Fani-Kayode had been demonstrating God’s grace and many didn’t know it until his former domestic sfaffers came out to share how the PDP evangelist touched their souls … Read moreFFK overwhelmed as ex-cook, nanny testify to electric anointing in PDP evangelist’s right hand of fellowship

NDLEA boss suspects Lagos excellence; calls its politicians, students to undergo performance-enhancing drug test

“There’s no way ideas and innovations can be raging in the heads of Lagos politicians and students except they are all cokeheads.”    For being Nigeria’s centre of excellence in most things, including popping pills, Lagos has again faced suspicion—and a call to its citizens to keep their noses clean. The call was made by … Read moreNDLEA boss suspects Lagos excellence; calls its politicians, students to undergo performance-enhancing drug test

War veterans IBB, Abdulsalam re-enlist in Nigeria military at Fayose’s insistence

After what he tweeted as fruitful discussions, former Gov Ayo Fayose has got assurance retired Generals  and ex-heads of state Ibarahim B. Babangida and Abubakar Abdusalam are rejoining the Nigerian military. Fayose wanted to pray on the mountain as usual, but kidnaping and other dangers lurking around Ondo and Ekiti forests wouldn’t allow him. So … Read moreWar veterans IBB, Abdulsalam re-enlist in Nigeria military at Fayose’s insistence