Finance minister sad as Obaseki got freshly minted N60bn and refuses to shut up

Following Edo Gov. Godwin Obaseki’s prattle about the freshly minted N60bn he was certain the federal government gave him, Finance Minister Zainab Ahmed has expressed her utter disappointment. “For me, it’s sad Obaseki could pipe out all that bull. How could he shit where he eats?” Ahmed said after a FEC meeting Wednesday. Obaseki on … Read moreFinance minister sad as Obaseki got freshly minted N60bn and refuses to shut up

PDP CONGRESS: Fayose exposes fraud, wonders why they declared Makinde’s candidate with more votes winner

Ekiti’s former Gov Ayo Fayose has backtracked after publicly declaring Gov. S. Makinde the PDP leader in the southwest following the Oyo governor’s candidate’s victory at the recent zonal vice chairmanship election held in Osogbo. Fayose insists there was no way Taofeek Arapaja who had more supporters and votes could have defeated his own candidate … Read morePDP CONGRESS: Fayose exposes fraud, wonders why they declared Makinde’s candidate with more votes winner

Devout malam says heaven-conscious governor’s sons will see God if they get kidnapped for no ransom

  A devout Muslim has espoused a religious teaching about how sons of politicians, especially governors, can make heaven: get snatched by bandits. The Malam, an APC governor in northwestern Nigeria, said this Friday to let his devout citizens know making heaven in state houses is too difficult owing to tight security. “Mark my words: … Read moreDevout malam says heaven-conscious governor’s sons will see God if they get kidnapped for no ransom

TINUBU: Since office of First Lady moved to UAE, Nigerians can’t reasonably assault Aisha again

In a glowing tribute to Aisha Buhari for her achievements as Nigeria’s first lady, Bola Tinubu has pointed out how attacks on her office has eternally ended. Nigerians have always said there is no constitutional reason for creating and funding the office of the wife of Nigeria’s president. The barbs mostly aggravate to attack so … Read moreTINUBU: Since office of First Lady moved to UAE, Nigerians can’t reasonably assault Aisha again

CCT blames global warming for bad spelling in Danladi-guard assault press statement, apologizes to Spelling Bees Nigeria

For his professional spelling mistakes in the press statement he issued last week on behalf of Umar Danladi,  the honorary justice of the Code of Conduct Tribunal, a Ministry of Info writer has an explanation. Ibraheem Al-Hassan indicated climate change was responsible for the howlers in the statement. Danladi, an appointee of President Muhammadu Buhari, … Read moreCCT blames global warming for bad spelling in Danladi-guard assault press statement, apologizes to Spelling Bees Nigeria

FFK apologizes after testing positive for AstraZeneca shot

PDP armchair stalwart Femi Fani Kayode has apologized to the billions of people he is mentoring for testing positive amid this covid-19 vaccination all over the world. Fani-Kayode, a freelance evangelist who was informed by the Holy Spirit covid-19 is a new-world order creation, and its Bill-Gates sponsored vaccine is evil, suddenly tested positive for … Read moreFFK apologizes after testing positive for AstraZeneca shot

Experts explain why roaring Kogi White Lion, that of Bourdillion suddenly make U-turn, kiss, hunt together

The prized fight between the Kogi White Lion and its counterpart the Lion of Bourdillion may not hold again in 2023 it was initially slated for. This turn of event will actually gut many already looking forward to the bloody tangle between the leonine rivals trying to claim territories. “I believe the large-boned Lion of … Read moreExperts explain why roaring Kogi White Lion, that of Bourdillion suddenly make U-turn, kiss, hunt together

Bold Oodua Twitter Republic launches ultra-modern military with sophisticated barearms inside village

To leave nobody in doubt of what they are up to, the federal government of Oodua Republic on Twitter unveiled its modern army March 30. The gallant army, ten-man strong, was unveiled in a village somewhere in the southwest with the most unheard of military might on parade. “Forget we are just 10. Oodua and … Read moreBold Oodua Twitter Republic launches ultra-modern military with sophisticated barearms inside village

Climate Resilience: Zulum converts security truck to firewood carrier to alleviate rural women energy plight for one hour

Which is more glorious: An Instagram-worthy loading of dry twigs onto two security trucks, by a first-term governor who couldn’t stand watching poverty-ridden Borno girls foraging for firewood by the arid, treeless highway—or a drab policy that makes kerosene and gas sell for N20 per litre to meet the energy need of poor rural women … Read moreClimate Resilience: Zulum converts security truck to firewood carrier to alleviate rural women energy plight for one hour

2023: Fayemi accepts offer to take over from Buhari, wonders why it’s hard for Nigerians to figure out

Ekiti Gov. Kayode Fayemi has finally opened up on his ambition to run for the presidency in 2023. The governor made this known—in a manner most politicians do—during an interview with Channels TV. According to him, he’s a damn serious politician. “Only a knucklehead and ne’er-do-well politician will reject an offer of a Limo ride … Read more2023: Fayemi accepts offer to take over from Buhari, wonders why it’s hard for Nigerians to figure out

Kalu accuses Supreme Court of upturning his jail sentence to truncate his destiny

Nigeria’s Senate  Chief Whip Uzor Kalu has been stewing since his release from the Kuje Prison following a Supreme Court ruling. The apex court set aside the appeal court judgement that first convicted the Abia former governor of embezzling billions, and then sent him up for 10 years at Kuje –a term he was all … Read moreKalu accuses Supreme Court of upturning his jail sentence to truncate his destiny

APC sets up high-power committee that’ll usher in change Nigerians want now in 2025

To assure Nigerians it’s a promise keeper, the APC has set up a committee of top-shots that will bring the change it promised in 2014 to reality in 2025. The high-power committee, according to the party mock Chairman and Yobe Gov.  Mai Buni, comprises little-known bureaucrats and bombed-out politicians like ex-Gov. Akinwumi Ambode, ex-Speaker Dimeji … Read moreAPC sets up high-power committee that’ll usher in change Nigerians want now in 2025

Awolowo writes new book foreworded by PDP reviewer Chidoka, published in Oodua Republic

The late Yoruba sage Obafemi Awolowo has written a new book about his life since 1987, and he bares all in the volume comprising no fewer than 790 pages. According to the book’s review, Awolowo effortlessly reveals a part of him unknown to many of his followers in Afenifere, dead and alive, including Adekunle Ajasin … Read moreAwolowo writes new book foreworded by PDP reviewer Chidoka, published in Oodua Republic

SAD: Tanzania’s late President Magufuli tests negative for steaming and prayer

Tanzania’s President John Magafuli died much earlier in March but sources just revealed the announcement was delayed because the presidency had to pray and steam before they could announce it. The late president would have loved it that way, too, if he had been alive, said a government source. Covid-19 has been raging in the … Read moreSAD: Tanzania’s late President Magufuli tests negative for steaming and prayer

Ohaneze v Okupe: Sick sinus interacting with Covid-19 antigens tips off mental instability in some politicians—Africana Journal of Medicine

“Our study confirmed that for most patients, the relationship is neutral.”     The Ohaneze Youth Council might have inadvertently publicized a research study when the Igbo group described a PDP operative as mentally unstable and in need of medical attention. Doyin Okupe, a former presidential media adviser, had tweeted about a remote incident of … Read moreOhaneze v Okupe: Sick sinus interacting with Covid-19 antigens tips off mental instability in some politicians—Africana Journal of Medicine

Ganduje: I’ll soon expose, shame the real cowards offering me fake dollars in the 2018 video

Kano Gov Umar Ganduje has reminded Nigerians the curtain is not yet drawn on his dollar-bribe drama that hit the internet in 2018. The governor said he was made to feature in it by his enemies. “But I assure you all the cowards—contractors, bureau de change, others— offering me fake bribes behind the scene in … Read moreGanduje: I’ll soon expose, shame the real cowards offering me fake dollars in the 2018 video

Wike threatens to resign in April 2023 if Nigerians elect Jonathan as president again

“It’s anti-party if GEJ or whatchamacallit  gets the ticket for the 2023 presidency”    Rivers Gov Nyesom Wike has warned all Nigerians to get ready for his wrath: I will quit the Rivers governor house in 2023 if Goodluck Jonathan contests and wins the presidential election. “I am an Ijaw politician, the most PDP of … Read moreWike threatens to resign in April 2023 if Nigerians elect Jonathan as president again

FFK overwhelmed as ex-cook, nanny testify to electric anointing in PDP evangelist’s right hand of fellowship

“You can’t help it especially if he reaches out from behind you, and his magnetic unction hits you in the hip as you lay his bed….”   Femi Fani-Kayode had been demonstrating God’s grace and many didn’t know it until his former domestic sfaffers came out to share how the PDP evangelist touched their souls … Read moreFFK overwhelmed as ex-cook, nanny testify to electric anointing in PDP evangelist’s right hand of fellowship

NDLEA boss suspects Lagos excellence; calls its politicians, students to undergo performance-enhancing drug test

“There’s no way ideas and innovations can be raging in the heads of Lagos politicians and students except they are all cokeheads.”    For being Nigeria’s centre of excellence in most things, including popping pills, Lagos has again faced suspicion—and a call to its citizens to keep their noses clean. The call was made by … Read moreNDLEA boss suspects Lagos excellence; calls its politicians, students to undergo performance-enhancing drug test

War veterans IBB, Abdulsalam re-enlist in Nigeria military at Fayose’s insistence

After what he tweeted as fruitful discussions, former Gov Ayo Fayose has got assurance retired Generals  and ex-heads of state Ibarahim B. Babangida and Abubakar Abdusalam are rejoining the Nigerian military. Fayose wanted to pray on the mountain as usual, but kidnaping and other dangers lurking around Ondo and Ekiti forests wouldn’t allow him. So … Read moreWar veterans IBB, Abdulsalam re-enlist in Nigeria military at Fayose’s insistence

FFK betrays Jesus, says OPC leader Adams, warns Igboho to beware of gap-toothed evangelists

OPC’s leader Iba Gani Adams has warned the reigning Yoruba savior Sunday Adeyemo to give Femi Fani-Kayode a wide berth because the freelance evangelist is a rat. FFK known to be born again to his teeth, and redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, has been courting Adeyemo aka Igboho who is a world away … Read moreFFK betrays Jesus, says OPC leader Adams, warns Igboho to beware of gap-toothed evangelists

Family kicks as FG intercepts Ibori’s N2bn retirement benefit accrual from his 10-yr service to Queen

Delta government, its federal lawmakers, and kinsmen of ex-Gov. James Ibori have cried out over attempt by some grabby elements to appropriated N2.2bn the UK owes the former governor. The UK government stated recently it’s repatriating the amount, pound sterling to Nigeria—the country of origin of the recipient who finished his meritorious service to the … Read moreFamily kicks as FG intercepts Ibori’s N2bn retirement benefit accrual from his 10-yr service to Queen

INSECURITY: Senior police officer vows to retire into Louis Odion House, in his uniform for 1,440 days until he gets diplomatic job

As daily abductions and killing spread across the four geo-political zones of Nigeria, a very senior police officer has deemed it security-wise to reaffirm his loyalty to President Muhammadu Buhari. The very senior officer has been taking flak for the nation’s insecurity, and many have called on Buhari to remove him since the supercop remains … Read moreINSECURITY: Senior police officer vows to retire into Louis Odion House, in his uniform for 1,440 days until he gets diplomatic job

Northern govs celebrate VP at 64, urge him to concentrate on Tradermoni beneficiaries, baby lawyers looking for intellectual giant

The Northern Governors Forum have  added an edge to their message as they joined President Muhammadu Buhari, APC leader Bola Tinubu, and two other people to celebrate V.P Yemi Osinbajo on his birthday. Simon Lalong, chairman of the forum, described Osinbajo as a loyal sidekick who not only understands his place —behind the scene—in Buhari’s … Read moreNorthern govs celebrate VP at 64, urge him to concentrate on Tradermoni beneficiaries, baby lawyers looking for intellectual giant

Since ex-wife Chikwendu knows the way to his heart, FFK says his life in danger of love potion

As Chikwendu Fani-Kayode told a court in Abuja on Friday all the agonies of love she enjoyed while she warmed the pillow for Nigeria’s foremost freelance evangelist and politician, the respondent, the he-man himself, has corroborated her story. In a statement on Saturday, Femi Fani-Kayode described their good old days of coupling as memorable: horsing … Read moreSince ex-wife Chikwendu knows the way to his heart, FFK says his life in danger of love potion

COVID-19: After meeting Yahaya Bello, OBJ, 84, boasts he’s yet to test positive for conspiracy theories

Days after meeting Kogi Gov Yahaya Bello, former President Olusegun Obasanjo has declared his covid-19 status. Many had been worried the old man could be infected with a variant of the virus that is resistant to fact and science after the duo stood arm to arm, with no mask on last week. But the 84 … Read moreCOVID-19: After meeting Yahaya Bello, OBJ, 84, boasts he’s yet to test positive for conspiracy theories

Matawalle: Except they repent, bandits won’t be able to operate in Zamfara again

Zamfara government has announced the signing into law an order allowing only repentant bandits to operate freely in the state. The law is coming on the heels of success gilding the effort of repentant bandits operating in the state. “If not for the activity of these repentant bandits in securing the release of the hundreds … Read moreMatawalle: Except they repent, bandits won’t be able to operate in Zamfara again

Matawalle disappointed Biden, others not shocked when he revealed night guard orchestrated schoolgirls kidnap in Zamfara

Zamfara Gov. Bello Matawalle has expressed disappointment in the way world leaders deadpanned when he revealed the men of power behind banditry in the state. On receiving the 270-something girls some unrepentant bandits kidnapped last Friday—thanks to the effort of the law-abiding bandits—the supreme-court governor promised to shock the planet by revealing those behind the … Read moreMatawalle disappointed Biden, others not shocked when he revealed night guard orchestrated schoolgirls kidnap in Zamfara

PDP: Buhari barring flies in Zamfara is ruse by APC to intimidate, sweep ruling PDP out

The PDP national headquarters has reacted to President Muhammadu Buhari’s no-fly-zone order placed on Zamfara in the efforts to contain widespread kidnapping and banditry in the state. The federal government made the decision following the revelation by Gov Bello Matawalle that the forest-dwelling kidnappers of Jangebe schoolgirls have flies on the wall right in Gusau. … Read morePDP: Buhari barring flies in Zamfara is ruse by APC to intimidate, sweep ruling PDP out

Bala, Ortom reconcile, agree only criminal herdsman ditches pump-action for AK-47 assault rifle in self-defense

After lobbing brickbats against each other, PDP Govs Samuel Ortom and Bala Mohammed shared a hug before their Rivers counterpart Nyesome Wike on March 2. Their problem started weeks ago when Mohamed claimed Fulani herders armed with AK-47 rifles are merely defending themselves against amotekun and other fleshing-eating predators in forests across the southwest. In … Read moreBala, Ortom reconcile, agree only criminal herdsman ditches pump-action for AK-47 assault rifle in self-defense